Sunday, March 04, 2007

Round Two - The Girls

Sunday afternoon, a bit of Tivo, and an afternoon of AI.

Gina - I agree with Simon. You were fine, but I was looking forward to something more edgy from you. Seriously, you have a pierced tongue. Why are you singing Heart? I still think your mom is cute, though, and you should stay long enough to find yourself. You were sharp, though, so be careful or you're going home. There are some really good singers in this competition and you've got to at least be on pitch to stay long.

Alaina - This is a good song, but not sure why you chose it. I think you've got anger and an internal agenda that I'm not giving you credit for because you're pretty and you're wearing a baby-doll evening dress. But you're also pitchy and not that good. I wish I could like you, but I can't. You should have gone home, but not before Skank-Ho, so i'll be outraged on our behalf this week.

Lakisha - Jee SUS. She's is laying this song DOWN. And she's using a nice mix of subtlety and power, something these other girls don't have...they seem to think screaming will get you anyplace. This girl rocks. And I'm not even mad at Simon for criticising her clothes, because while I think it's fine he's right about the fact that she's going to be a big star, so it's time to start working on image.

I love that the power singer in the AI band is wearing a Tenacious D shirt, by the way. If only they had Jack Black as a guest artist advisor for these people. Now THAT would be some television.

Melinda - This is a killer song, and she is doing a fine version of it. She's got the skill to stylize a song. No obnoxious mariah-ing of the notes...she's seriously riffing, and it is completely appropriate. Another phenomenal talent, this one.

Sadly, somewhere down the line Lakisha and Melinda are going to split the people who vote for talent, one of them will go out and Jersey Skank-Ho will stay with her tone deaf braying and her little girl whore dance.

Jersey Skank-Ho: Oh my, that's a dress. Who is dressing you? With go-go boots and overly ironed hair I would have cut you some slack for going retro, but with the prozzy heels and the feathered layers you just look sleazy. And you're still flat with your singing. How dare you roll your eyes at the criticism, you self-absorbed slag. And your ass moves up and down when you nod. And now you've compared yourself to Jennifer Hudson. YOU ARE EVIL. GO AWAY.

Jordin Sparks: Jordin gets two names because Jordin Sparks is a superstar name. Your dress isn't as flattering as it should be. Considering she's 17, she must have been the prime target audience when the Mulan came out, which makes this song really suitable for her. And she's doing a good job, and she should because she's probably been singing this song in her room for years now. Lovely voice, this girl has.

Stephanie: She is just beautiful, this girl. And she's got another great dress tonight. I don't really like this song, but she's got a great voice and a lot of style. I think she's got star potential, and so I want her to stay in.

If life is fair, there will be a Lakisha-Melinda-Stephanie final, one week after they hug Chris Sligh goodbye. Sadly, life is not fair and it's going to be a JerseySkankHo-Sangayah-Jared Cotter final after they say aloha to Sabrina Sloan.

Leslie: I know she goes home, but I think that America made a bad decision on this one. I think she's a lot of fun and I though she did a good job. Nina Simone is not an easy one to take on, and she did a perfectly respectable job. And I like the funky little outfit. It suits her. Simon called her Les, which I think means he likes her, even though he told her to step up her game. I'm sorry you went home, Leslie. I think it's funny when they say the word "scat" on TV. Heh heh.

Judges are using stupid analogies this week. Duh.

Haley Scarnato: You were dull last week, so this week you're trying for dirty. You're not pulling it off, and you look kind of crazy. As in insane, not wacky. Your voice isn't horrible until you try to flip a run, but you're just not that good. As long as you're gone by the final twelve I'm okay with you being here another week.

Sabrina Sloan: Screamer. I don't like screamers. Shut up.

Sick and tragic that Leslie went home, and ridiculous that Skank-Ho didn't. Alaina, well, she should go home eventually.

Next week we'd better get rid of JSH or I'm going to spit.

1 comment:

Jake's Mom said...

I agree on the majority Mindy.
My favs are:
After who they voted off last week or I should write who they didn't vote off I am wondering if the voting public is tone deaf.