Friday, May 11, 2007

You've got to be kidding me

What the hell is Bill Maher doing in the American Idol audience? I mean seriously. What the Hell?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Die or Bust

Blake Lewis is noisier than a badly made Ukranian vibrator. I want him dead. Will the gods, or just one God (preferably the white one) please rain a hail of death upon this lipless fag's head?

LaKisha leaving last night was a low point for me. I love fat, black singers. I still can't listen to Luther Vandross without crying into my pudding. But if anyone deserved the dubious award of IDOL, it was this single mother. She's so low-rent, you just know she's going back to Michigan to polish some flint.

Melinda is a flat-nosed cabaret act and Jordin Sparks is still a nose-scrunching cunt. The fact that she's from a normal family makes me hate her more than I hate Blake and his stuttering songs. He slaughtered "You Should Be Dancing." Barry Gibb should be ashamed of himself for condoning such bargain basement artistry.

I had half the episode on mute. Me love the Bee Gees, especially the dead alcoholic one.

Tears have been shed now

I am so glad Melinda is still in the game.

Call me retarded, but I started tearing up when Lakisha got the boot. Although I don't even like her singing all that much, she still deserves to be up there. I felt really bad for her, and hope she has a great career ahead of her.

Blake really deserved to leave last night. And Jordin wasn't far behind.

Go Melinda!!!!!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

He was hung like one, but I couldn't get past the teeth

Oh my GOD!!! I just watched, in horror, as Barry Gibb attempted to recapture his youth by trying ( in vain) to recreate the infamous Bee Gee falsetto voice. What is up with those horrid false teeth??? This is the same man who used to make me positively swoon? Painful, pathetic and sad are just a few adjectives that come to mind. As Simon is wont to say, "It was positively dreadful, like a really bad karaoke singer." Barry, wake up and smell the Efferdent. Sometimes, ya just CAN'T go home again.

Nurse Ratchet

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Glib About Gibb

One of the Gibb brothers (I think it was the dead one) gave the kids some advice tonight with his Sean Connery/Liza Minnelli bridge work and wow did things sizzle, as long as you happened to be 80 or in the audience.

I'm not sure why they dissed Lakisha so for Stayin' Alive, I thought it was the best thing going on an incredibly boring show.

Outside of the original version, I love N Trance's take on it. Get raw with the fever on the dance floor: Stayin Alive.mp3


can someone slather Barry Gibb's lips with chapstick/blistix/carmex/vaseline/olive oil, anything!

those thin gray lips grossed me out!

How deep is your love?

And then there were four... three ladies and a guy.

Tonight being coached by Barry Gibb... call me a nerd, but I love him. I love the Bee Gees! I have their greatest hits in my car. I listen to it A Lot. Yep. A nerd.

He talks like the Geico caveman though.

I'm looking forward to tonight - even though they are singing two songs a piece...

Melinda: Love You Inside and Out - Different vocal range for her... I like it! She is so awesome. I'm not sure it was her best, but she still did a great job.

Blake: You Should Be Dancing - I hear this song and envision John Travolta doing his pelvis thrusts on a pulsating dance floor... I hope I don't see that with Blake. Now he has white streaks in his hair... jeeeeesus.... He sounds like his balls are in a vice. And yes... he does look like Robin Williams. NOOOOOOOOOO! More beat boxing. I'm tired. of. it. That sucked. Just not for me. Once again -- I'm a purist. I'm SO glad Randy said the beatbox didn't work! YAY! Finally! I don't think he's going home though. Chris' votes are going to go to him... it's the whole "cute young guy" thing.

LaKisha: Stayin' Alive - My least favorite BeeGee song... so cliche for them. I was hoping that it would be avoided all together, but... oh well. She didn't hit the high notes like Barry recommended... why? Did she not like the professional's opinion? Is she too good for that? I didn't like it... I was bored. Maybe it's the song. But I don't think so. I think she may be the next to go.

Jordin: To Love Somebody - Does she even know who Barry Gibb is? Has she ever even heard of the BeeGees? Last week she told Jon Bon Jovi that he was her MOM'S favorite and that was how she had heard of him! I wonder what she would say to Barry! She will definitely be in the final two. I could listen to that version of the song over and over again. I haven't gotten a lot of chills this season, but that gave them to me. That was AMAZING.

Second songs

Melinda: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - I was bored with this one... UNTIL the end. I didn't like the beginning, but the end was star quality. I love her. Period.

Blake: This is Where I Came In - Yuck. Go Away. Please. At least STOP with the beat boxing and freakin' SING!

LaKisha: Run To Me - zzzzzzzz.... oh! (wiping drool from my bottom lip) I'm supposed to be watching LaKisha sing on American Id..zzzzzzz....

Jordin: Woman In Love - Started off a little rocky. Babs is hard to duplicate - and I don't think it has been done before on AI. Has it? She sounded good once she got started, but there were some pitchy spots. It is a perfect song for her range, but she didn't really pull it off. No chills.

After tonight I still think the final two will be Melinda and Jordin. Blake is going to get Chris', and possibly Phil's, votes. Jordin and Melinda have loyal fans (like me) that will vote their hearts out. I think LaKisha has slipped the past few weeks and really can't hold a candle to the other three.

I know... I know... that means I'm saying Blake is better. Don't get me wrong. I can't STAND the guy. I think he is only in it now because of his looks and his so-called originality. It may take him to the top three but he won't win it.

The next to go home? Should be Blake, but buh-bye, LaKisha.