Friday, January 26, 2007


Sundance to WIN.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

New York: The "What are you lookin' at!" state

Well, if anything this episode had attitude.

Ian came in with a chinchilla fur and pronounced he was wearing it to show the judges what he'd look like rich. Tacky, tacky, tacky. As we can see with the judges, money doesn't buy you taste. And because he is a tax paying citizen, he's better than the judges or something like that. Whatever!!

I felt sorry for Sarah who only wanted to impress her father. But really is lying the way to do that ? Good voice though. Glad she made it as she may need to get away from daddy.

Amanda and her friend were good but we'll see how close they stay when in Hollywood.
Harmonica man Clifton singing ZZ Top was had no rhythm or style.

16 year old Henri was a cutie and I think Paula would have had him there and then had it not been for the cameras.
And what was with the Dale Evans wannabe. The outfit was awful and then her rant about not knowing how to sing but that should keep her from being an American Idol. Hello???? It was a singing audition.
Antonio, Frank Sinatra has more feeling and he's 6 feet under.
My favorite was Nicholas. His voice was rich and had feeling.
The last entry for the day Julie/Isadora, brocade cowboy hat wearing(was that the theme for the day) jewelry jangling mess of a "I don't know why I'm here but okay I'll play along" audition was just strange. Her helter skelter eyes were the first clue that she wasn't all there. It just went downhill from there. Glad she was the last for the day. I was worn out.
I did enjoy the hussy fit Paula had with Simon. I thought for a minute she was going to slug him. Too bad she didn't.

Beam me up Scotty...or get me to the real competition.

Ryan Facts

Things about Ryan you may not know or care to know:

Ryan appeared on Beverly Hills 90210 as the game show host in the episode titled the final proof. (I believe this one)

Ryan was the host of Live From The Lounge in 2001 through 2002. (wtf is that?)

Ryan made a brief appearance in the movie Crimson Tide in 1995.(desperate for extra's?)

People Magazine voted Ryan one of the 50 most people in 2003.(most what?)

Ryan attended The University of Georgia.(and he graduated!)

The popular TV series Mad TV was home for Ryan for several episodes. (imagine that? He's not even funny)

In American Idol 2 finale, Ryan , who was the host, made a mistake by saying Ruben Studdard beat out Clay Aiken by 1,335 votes. The actual margin was 130,000. (dumbass)

Honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for Ryan career in Broadcasting on April 20, 2005. (What for??)

Ryan Was one of People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People in 2003.(that was a big year for crack)

Ryan's height is 5'9 (I thought he was shorter)

Ryan claims that he is a Metrosexual. (ya think?)

Carry On My Wayward Son

This is Season 1.5 of American Idol for me. I began watching the auditions last year and then broke up with the show for a while. I did reunite with the gang in time to see a whittled down group drown in the grey wave that was Taylor.

It’s refreshing to see that the format and people are pretty much identical to last year's group. The adorable ragtag band of mental defectives, kids on a lark and a few people who might get the break they deserve are all here.

If I was stuck in a room for days judging people for a singing competition where most of the contestants shouldn’t have made it to this point, I’d be a lot more vicious than Simon, on more medication than Paula and even more worthless than Randy.

The person who doesn’t seem to get painted with the same mean brush might turn out to be the cruelest of all. Ryan Seabreeze. What are you doing? How can you be creating those awful TV moments and getting away with it?

The dippier contestants land outside the audition room for their exit interview and Ryan asks them a question or two they can’t answer because they don’t know what’s just happened. And then he stares. And stares some more. The not so TV savvy contestant tries to answer, eyes darting around for safe haven and then little Ryan stares just a little big longer. Excruciating and brilliant.

New Yore, New Yore

Last night was bad, but not NEARLY as bad as Seattle... come on... admit it!

Ian - the first one of the night- was purely an act to get on TV. He did the same schtick in So You Think You Can Dance. I was SO bored and over him... bleh.

I agree with CP, too. Once chickee gets home to dear ol' Daddy, he is going to whoop her ass. Calling him on the phone was such a cop out! What was he supposed to say? Geesh.

Did you catch the 47 year old dude singing New Yore, New Yore?! Now that was a plant from producers if there ever once was. Even if he sounded like Ol' Blue Eyes he couldn't have gone through... he is over. the. age. limit. Do the producers think we are stupid?

And what was up with the last girl? Orgasmic, trippy chick? She was something! There is no way she was for real... no way. She sucked SOOOOOO bad.

I'm ready for this part to be over. I want to see talent. Not wannabe singers that are doing their best to sound their worst. OVER IT! Let's get down to the final 12 so we can figure out who we love and hate.

PS... That Sundance dude WAS NOT better than Taylor. I've said it and I stand by it.

Soul Patrol!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

New York auditions: Stop Spreading the News

Confidential to Paula: Nice to see you trying so hard to hold it together. Getting bitch-slapped by the media has its advantages. Still, we haven't heard the last of your little pill-popping addiction. That I can guarantee.

Confidential to Sarah who wouldn't tell her father she was auditioning: Honey, this is an audition, not therapy. Better start looking for scholarships now because no way is your dad paying for college after this. Oh, and fessing up on the phone to your father with Ryan Seacrest there on network TV was a cheap shot. I hope you know he's going to kick your ass as soon as you lose and get sent home.

Confidential to Ashanti: The bare midriff thing is 2002, girl. Cover it up before I have you killed. Oh, and the Effie White imitation is already over even though the movie is still brand new. You're lucky Joan Collins didn't lunge across that table and choke the very life out of you. Oh wait, that's not Joan Collins, is it?

Confidential to Julie/Isadora: Hats off to you, dear. Before tonight, I didn't know it was possible to sing while having a grand-mal seizure.


I was a little bored with the Memphis auditions. It was merely a weak sideshow compared to the Mother of all Circuses...Seattle. However, Memphis can lay claim to such "talent" as Janita "Sexy, very sexy" Burks. Sexy as compared to what??? I would be remiss if I did not mention Travis McKinney AKA Mr. Bojangles. What the hell was that idiotic, nonsensical song and dance routine about his girlfriend? Fidel Castro is clearly underrated...who knew the little Commie could sing? My personal favorite? Robert Lee Holmes doing his impersonation of Dave Chappelle's "Tyrone Biggins." Oh wait....he was serious? Wandera the Wonder's rant "Get the &^%$$ing camera outta my face!" was almost as firey as her red hair. So natural looking. I'm anticipating the Big Apple will give us much more entertainment.


Simon, Randy and Paula look like the "Bush Baby" in that profile picture, don't they?

Memphis was Memphis

I like DVRing American Idol. No commercials or Ryan Seacrest seeing if a non winner will cry or say ride things on the show.
Frank and Beans...why would anyone be happy that they are called that??

Couldn't understand much of what Mika said and sing the words only made it worse.

Sundance was good, his dad was a one hit "wonder" in the 60's. But Sundance has good pipes, crappy goatee and sloppy dress but I am sure someone will clue him in, right?? Didn't appreciate Simon making snide comments about his marriage and wife's pregnancy. Jealousy is not a good look for you Simon .

Then Castro walked in...I thought he wasn't doing too well. But he can sing, just get rid of the rat's nest on your face. MAKE-UP!

The shy background singer Melinda was the best of them all. I hope she doesn't get trampled. Needs a wardrobe redo.

Then Robert walked in with confidence that he could sing (he couldn't) and proceeded to sing 'Burning Love'. There are just some songs that only the "king" should sing and that is one of them. Ryan did get him to cry on camera.

The last guy, can't remember his name, bald and bad bottle tan but great pipes. And glad he told Simon that family was more important than Idol. Simon snorted. I think I hear the waaaaaaaaaaambulace Simon.
Paula was a little less cheerleaderly. Still dopey, I hope that's not the personality she ordered. Randy was tamer too. Simon acted like he could barely stand to be there. Glad I didn't have to rev up the taser for those two.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Valerie's View - January 23, 2007

I fastforwarded through probably over 50% of tonight's episode. I didn't take any notes and I'm actually watching Jennifer Garner on Jay Leno (taped from last night) as I write this.

The people that stood out in my memory:

The back up singer with the hat. She's got pipes. She'll be in the final ten unless her nerves get the better of her. The guy who is the son of some one hit wonder...that guy had a HUGE goatee, sadly, he had more chest hair! But his voice was pretty good. They gave a golden ticket to someone with twice as much head hair as Bo Bice and twice as much facial hair as the Unabomber. I think he got a golden ticket for the amusement of the judges, not because he's got a lot of talent. They also gave a golden ticket to some bald dude whose wife just had a baby. I thought he was horrible!

The highlight of the show, for my kids, was the Shrek III commercial. We must've watched it at least ten times.

The rest of the show was completely forgettable and not worth writing about.

Miss me

I have an after work event this evening so I will not get to watch the festivities. Please think of me... I'll be at a dinner theater trying to "act". HAHAHA!

Now THAT needs to be judged by the famous three. I'd be kicked to the curb... in a heartbeat.

Marni OUT!

(That was so two seasons ago... sorry)

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Rosie O'Donnell slams mistreatment of oddballs

According to this story in the International Herald Tribune, Rosie O'Donnell

"lashed out at the way contestants were treated by "three millionaires, one
probably intoxicated...If you keep serving people crap and telling them it's a
meal, they're eventually going to think it is a meal."

Reading down, we also find out that the American Idol judges, are, in fact, making fun of retards:

During the Seattle audition, the show aired a performance of "God Bless
America" by Jonathan Jayne, who was criticized by the judges. The New York Times later reported that Jayne had said he had appeared in Special Olympics, an event
for the mentally challenged.

The response from the A.I. team was, basically "we're not so cruel. And these freaks and losers know what they're getting into when they appear anyway." The one bright note in this story is the revelation that a new A.I. type talent show is in the works: "Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll."

Someone tell Misha Reedy to get her black audition outfit ready.