What the HELL????

(insert caption here)

What the f....

Why does that no talent, freak hair, Michael Jackson wanna be (& that is NO compliment in my world), "I'm an idiot" smile, Sanjaya keep getting to stay? I just want to put a stake in him and put him in my garden to scare away the rabbits. Chris S is better than him. Even Phil. What contest in Hell did I win????????

Someone owes me for all these hours.

If Melinda wins all will be forgiven.

Yawn

Last night was kinda boring.

Lakisha looked great. I'm sure Simon really wants to hit that. Knock boots with her... ha ha!

Gina... I love her. She sounded awesome. She looked great, but I was waiting for the seams on her dress to split at any moment.

Sanjaya- I actually shuddered while I was watching him. Even just thinking about it now sends shivers up my back. Not good shivers. I couldn't watch the whole thing. And then he told Simon that he was jealous because he couldn't pull it off?????????????????????????? Now I'm shivering again. Seriously.

Jordin- I still love her voice, but wasn't crazy about the song... or the picnic table thing she was wearing.

Chris Sligh (I know, this isn't in order)- From the beginning they've been telling him about rushing it. He does... bad. I hope he's safe, but I'd want him to go home before some of the others.

Haley- I didn't like her rendition of "True Colors". I think she's got great legs, though.

Paula- your lips were fine, you didn't need to get them plumped up. Now they are almost more distracting than your drunken-ness. Almost.

Gwen Stefani Sucka Sucka Sucks

Just you wait until tonight when Gwenni sings her Whoo Hoo Yeee HOO song. Oh my GOD is it a pile of screeching dookie. Pleh.

And she looks so old now they have to soft focus the camera on her because people will figure out that she's old enough to be a Holla Back Girl's mutha. Or wait. I meant Mother.

Or did I?

Valerie's View - March 27, 2007

I wish I could've found better pictures, but Gwen Stefani without her signature red lipstick looked like Holly Madison (Hugh Hefner's "Alpha Dog" Girlfriend).

As for tonight's show...nobody was inspiring enough to make me write about them.

Another Tuesday night in my living room

Sitting at dinner tonight, Bug and I were talking about American Idol; she is eight and loves the show. She said, "You know, there aren't a lot of people I like this year but I really don't like the horse." Knowing how much she loves horses I was curious to see who that could possibly be. So I asked... her answer?

"That Sanjaya guy."

Why?

"He has hair like a horse's mane and buck teeth. I think he even sounds like one!" Some folks I know would say to leave the horses alone... that they sing better than he does.

My girl has taste.

It's almost time to kick off the performances. Gwen Stefani is the mentor tonight and I LOVE her. This could get interesting and may be a hard night for Melinda and LaKisha. They are powerful ballad singers (especially Melinda)... how will they fare singing Pop songs? Could be a real challenge. I'm excited to hear what Blake, Gina and Chris S. bring to the table...

LaKisha: Donna Summer? Paula isn't dancing in her seat -- not a good sign. Sounds too karaoke for me, but she did a good job. I wasn't wow'd like I've been in the past, but its not a sound I'm used to hearing from her. She's still safe. Better than I thought she would do.

Chris S: I don't like the Police (Sorry), so I don't like his choice in song. I think it is too high of a pitch for him. Paula's dancing though... I guess she likes it. Not my favorite. I was kind of bored - unfortunately because I really like him. He is probably safe, but I don't think it was his best performance.

Gina: That was fantastic. Her best performance yet. She looked beautiful and sounded amazing. She should be safe. After that, if she goes home I WON'T watch again.

Sanjaya: What the hell did they do to his HAIR! OMG! He is so freakin' gay! Whoever did that to him needs to be fired... right now. Send him home! I couldn't listen to him sing because I was so distracted by the atrocity on his head. It DID look like a horse's tail all gathered on his head - a pony-hawk? Is he TRYING to go home now? Doing whatever it takes to get out of there?

Hayley: She looked beautiful, but she sounded like a broadway singer. She needs to keep her legs together - or get a little longer dress. You could almost see her money maker! That was good... not fantastic. Just good. I agree with Simon -- sweet but forgettable.

Phil: Another Police song... this is one song I never listen to when it comes on the radio... I KNOW CP is going to be excited to hear this one. No matter who sings it - or how - I won't like it. Lalalalala... not even listening. OK... he's doing a good job. I would rather hear him sing it than Sting. That's fo sho... I have to admit that was one of his best performances.

Melinda: Look at my girl dance! I love her! Nice hair, too. She looks beautiful! Can she do anything wrong? I don't think so... She IS the next American Idol... no doubt. (no pun intended)

Blake: I don't know if I like that song in a slower beat. He sounded good, but I was bored. At least there wasn't any beat boxing... thank heavens.

Jordin: The outfit makes her look too fat. She has such a strong voice. I love her tone and to hear her sing, but I don't like this song. For her anyway. It was risky... but she pulled it off.

Chris R: At least he's behind a mike and can't bop up and down. The little teeny boppers like him because of his eyes; Paula just thinks he's "good" (tramp). Oh lord... he grabbed the mike and is moving. What is that little "no" head shake he does - like he quickly looks at someone to his side. That is irritating. I was bored... didn't like it. I agree that the vocals were not very good...

Tonight my faves are Melinda, Jordin and Gina. In that order. I agree that Blake has taken over as the strongest male performer... Either Hayley or Sanjaya needs to go home, but hell I've been saying that for two freakin' weeks. I hope it happens!

I Just You-Tubed Melinda's latest

Folks, I may have to start voting now - because if this girl doesn't win, I may have to commit suicide. Let's just hope that if she is a Kristian, she's of the non-fag-bashing variety. Although that in itself would make her a Christian and not a Kristian.

Melinda, do NOT blow it with me.

(No smart comments please, Dale - you know what I meant.)