It sucks

American Idol, that is. It sucks like the Flowbee that Simon apparently used to cut his hair this week. Paula was so distracted by Simon's do that she appeared to hit the pain pills again.

I have to admit that, in the past, I've paid much more attention to the initial trainwreck audition part than the later weeks where they start to look and sound like aspiring pop stars. Tonight I turned on A.I. and remembered why that was.

First I was confronted by that bald-headed, beetle-browed bug-eyed freak Phil. He couldn't be more disturbing if he sang in a mime costume. He did not make anyone in this house love him, that's for sure. Stephanie looked gorgeous, and her voice was nice and strong. She fell kind of short, though, and I agree with whoever said her arrangement was weak. Lakisha redeemed the situation somewhat by doing a pretty ballsy version of "God Bless the Child." I liked her.

Speaking of balls, is it me or do none of the male contestants sound like full-fledged men? Blake sounded...just tinny. He was a prancing little would-be Pan. Chris Richardson? Jeebus. Wipe that smirk off his funny little face. MizBubs said he'd end up as a decent car salesman in a few years; I corrected her. I said he'd end up as the assistant manager at some car rental counter, hooking up hot chicks with sweet ride upgrades if they'd party with him. Picture him in his little blue or orange car rental vest, I know you can. Another thing about the guys, what was with the bland, beige clothing? It matched their sound.

I got an overview at the end of the show, and I didn't see anything there that impressed me. Sanjaya would make someone in prison very happy, I think. Brandon Rogers was better than any of the rest of the guys, but he was not that good either. Chris Sligh was ok, but only in comparison to the rest of the guys. From the brief clip I saw, Melinda sounded better than anyone tonight.

Oh well. All I need to know about A.I. for the next few weeks I can get from reading all the stuff you guys post. Thanks in advance.