Who is the Worst Now?

Vote For The Worst now endorses Phil Stacey.

I know they're spoiled for choice, but frankly I think they should have gone another way. Don't get me wrong, it's fun to call him NosPhilratu, and my skin goes cold when he walks on the stage, but his vocals have gotten a lot better. Never having been abducted by aliens myself, I actually don't mind that much when he turns his glowing head towards the camera and points with that other worldly stare. If he used a little Dove Summer Glow and grew out that head stubble a little he wouldn't be nearly as upsetting.

Chris, on the other hand, has no facial expression, sings with a ridiculously nasal voice, and has too many tiny teeth in his head. I think maybe he comes from a long line of flossers and so the Richardsons have replaced 32 normal size teeth with 64 teeny tiny ones for extra flossing fun. And all that flossing makes them kind of pointy, so I worry that some day he's going to accidentally penetrate the mic screen and electrocute himself mid performance. Which might be a reason to keep him, actually.

Which brings us to Blake. Who is probably the cutest of the three remaining guys, but whose annoying perkiness and beat boxing wore me out before we even got to the finals. What a prat. And then there's also the part about how he seems to get more tonedeaf each week and looks stoned most of the time. The only thing that could convince me to let him stay is to promise me that next week he'll perform as the mole in a moster Whack A Mole game with a giant hammer coming down from the sky as he does that bouncy little hip hop dance he's so fond of.

I would not put any of the girls up yet. I have a soft spot for Jordin because she's got some talent even if she does smile a bit more than I generally allow. Melinda actually looks like she has a neck on country western night, and her performances are always dead on so I'm happy to see her stay around. (Confidential to CP...did you see the interview where Melinda says she listens to Kirk Franklin every day because she "needs to get her Jesus on?" Lakisha is listening to Yolanda Adams and left it at that. Both are innovative gospel artists fusing R&B and hip hop with traditional gospel music. Yolanda has been divorced twice, Kirk just went on Oprah with his wife to talk about how God helped him kick his sinful porn addiction. Are you SURE you love Mandisa Melinda? Be careful before you commit.)

And Lakisha. She is a chubby mess whose skirt is always slightly uneven getting caught on those lardy hips, and her boobs are so big I doubt she's seen her feet in years and she looks like she leaves a bit of clutter behind her wherever she goes. Rock on, my SISTAH! Lakisha Jones, the NEXT AMERICAN IDOL.