Friday, April 03, 2009

Megan Joy is G-O-N-E

Hooray! I so disliked her and her stupid ink sleeve. I didn't like her voice, I didn't like her song selection, and I didn't like constantly hearing how pretty she was. I did, however, find her dancing highly amusing. And I'm sure some avaricious record producer will snap her up...she's just as weird and campy as Amy Winehouse, but with a prettier package and none of those pesky drug problems yet. Surely there are mainstream bimbos that want to seem edgy just dying for an album of fake "standards" from a warbling thumb-dancer.

So who's next? I've accepted that Hokey's going no place. They've figured out the dead wife pimping was hurting his chances and are repackaging him (they didn't even mention that his grandfather died this week, so afeared were they that his personal death theme would lose votes.) Therefore I will focus my bile on Scott McIntyre and Matt Girard - they are easily the two next most annoying contestants. Not only are they the two most likely to appear with a piano, but they're neither one all that entertaining. Just don't ask me to choose...Scott's muzak suck ass, but I'm secretly loving the whole screw-with-the-blind-guy's-outfit-and-hair game that the stylists are playing. (That way they can remind us he's blind without actually verbalizing it, which would be tacky. Right, Ryan?) And while his vocals are sometimes better than Scott's, the ridiculously tight pants and unicorn pimple Mr. Girard sports each week are just tragic and hard to look at. And I think the cross-eyed guy is his dad.


Dale said...

I will now be using the term 'unicorn pimple' at every opportunity. His dad is just trying to focus on his unicorn pimple.

Poor Megan, I liked her audition. She was so PRETTY! :-)

Coaster Punchman said...

Hmm, whaddya got against pianos, MJ? Them is fightin' words in my parts.

Coaster Punchman said...

But for the record, I can't stand Scott McIntyre. I can't stand him so much I'm not even bothering to see if I spelled his name right.