Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Real-time commentary: three Idols left!

Tonight is the moment of truth: will Katharine be able to claw her way into the finals? Mindy June's theory is that at least 80% of the former Chris voters will flow to Taylor or Elliott because they liked his singing or liked his coolness. (Since Katharine is really neither of those.) So the 20% that could possibly go to Katharine were ones that liked Chris's sexiness. Although I'm not sure I'm on board with that, since I think the sexiness factor, if that's what it was, will remain in the men's camp. We shall see.

Ok, tonight the Idols get three songs each.

Can I just say I don't really get the Ryan Seacrest five-o'clock shadow thing? I actually kind of like Ryan, although George hates him with a fierce passion. But c'mon Ryan, you don't have to be quite SO affected.

Clive Davis gets to pick the songs for the first round tonight. He chose Journey's "Open Arms" for Elliott, on first. Hmm, we'll have to hear this. I really hate Journey.

Elliott is singing now. I still love him. He sounds slightly hoarse tonight! And he kind of screwed up the lyrics, though if you didn't know the song you wouldn't have caught it. I hope he doesn't admit it.

Elliott looks nervous. This was not his greatest performance ever, but it was fine. It was still one thousand times better than Katharine last week.

I think it's really funny how all three judges commented on "great song choice." DUH! Like they're going to go on record against Clive Davis.

Katharine: "I Believe I can Fly." I think Elliott should have been given this song. She spends too much energy trying to be Aretha Franklin. And she did a "woo." Ten point deduction.

Randy just said she "looks amazing" - which is always a sign you're going to get dissed. Oh my God - Katharine just said "you guys are hard on me!" after Paula said something not so encouraging. No Simon is defending Katharine. What a friggin suck up. I hate him, right now at least. At least Randy has the gonads to say it wasn't a great song choice for Katharine. Randy is not afraid of Clive Davis, apparently. Can I just say I love Randy? He's a macho femmy guy, if that makes any sense.

Taylor gets to sing Springsteen. Apparently Clive had to get special permission from Bruce for this. That says something for Taylor! Oh my God, Taylor just made a gun with his finger when he sang the "This gun's for hire" line! What a geek! I love him. He is a spaz. Randy just told him he was in the "dog pound." I like Randy's glasses too. I like how he danced with Paula.

Round 2:
The judges pick the songs. This should be good.

Paula chose for Elliott: What You Won't Do for Love- because he's full of love, funky and soulful. He did a good job. He's looking sexy tonight too. And Simon liked him. Though he said "Elliott you sang that pretty good." English, much?

Simon chose for Katharine: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Oh, Simon. Get a life. She's sitting on the floor again. Maybe she'll do some knee dancing? She picked at her ear at the start of the chorus. What is with that? I don't think she sounds that great. She keeps leering into the camera with that cloying, preening gaze of hers. "Please, love me, I'm just so pretty and innocent and adorable!" Blech.

Oh no, the judges are worshiping her. STOP IT! DO NOT ENCOURAGE HER! Now she's looking smug.

Randy chose for Taylor: "You Are So Beautiful." Randy, can I just tell you that you are SO GAY?

One of the things I love about Taylor is that he usually looks constipated when he sings. Simon called that his best performance so far. I wonder if he means "tonight" or "ever."

Ok, Elliott has one more chance to wow us. Elliott usually does a good job with song choices, so let's see: "I Believe to My Soul." I'm a little worried about the lyrics to this song: "I believe you're trying to make a fool out of me...." No we're not, Elliott!! We are devoted Yaminions!!!!

SIMON, I HATE YOU!!!

1-866-436-5701 5704 5707..................................the Yaminion phone lines.

Katharine: "I Ain't Got Nothin But the Blues." Looks like a tramp. (Ok, I said I'd stop being mean to her, but I can't help it.) Yech, I hate her. At least Randy is so so about it. It's clear that Paula & Randy don't want her to win. Simon didn't like it either. But he wants her to win, I can tell.

Taylor: "Try a Little Tenderness." I LOVE how he ends his songs. SPAZZZZZ!!!!!

OK, I have to push redial for Elliott obsessively for two hours now. See you tomorrow.

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