Live Commentary on Elvis Night

It's Sunday morning...my TiVo isn't working and on Friday I was out with friends so I couldn't watch as scheduled. I know the outcome...Chris goes home, Elliott appears to be the reincarnation of the KING...but I still woke with anticipation and excitement, knowing at 955 the fun begins. So I'm telling you my thoughts as we go.

Taylor - Jailhouse Rock - I think he did a good job, actually. I get where Simon is going with the K for Karaoke, though. I thought he was fun and exciting and it made me smile, just like Taylor's performances always do. But I didn't think it was anything spectacular.

Chris - Suspicious Minds - Oh my. Disliked it before he even started singing, and I love this song. "Boxer briefs....they KNOW what I'm talking about." Yeah, Moron. So do we. You can sing, pal, but subtlety ain't your style. As was evidenced by the reserve you tried to show in your singing....you just sounded like you were phoning it in. You started to believe your own press, you arrogant SOB, and in doing so you let us down. You have talent and we loved you, but you decided you were a sex symbol and a sure thing for the finals and now you aren't trying as hard as you should and you're acting like a prick. Elliott would never talk about his underwear.

Elliot - If I Can Dream - Dreamy. Positively magical. Excellent song, and captured the essence of Elvis without making it seem contrived. Plus, have you noticed how CUTE he is now? I think he's stone-cold sexy these days.

Katherine - Hound Dog and All Shook Up - Nice ass shot turn at the beginning. Motola likes the slightly big butts...Mariah, J-Lo, Shakira...that will help her in the long run, even though over-the-shoulder singing is ridiculous. And someone really needs to tell her never to move on stage. It's like watching Elaine's thumb dance...in fact for a second I think she DID Elaine's thumb dance. Didn't like the combo of songs...they should stand alone. Didn't like ANYTHING about this. And she forgot the lyrics. And she screeched like a banshee on the high notes. And I don't like the way she cocks her head and poses like a bashful little girl...she's in her twenties, has been singing in front of millions for many weeks now, and should cut the crap. But she's going to marry Tommy Motola, so she'll have a record deal. And she WASN'T worried about Elvis week. Remember when she sang Bringing Out the Elvis in Me on country night? She told us she chose that song because she loved Elvis. LIAR. And did you notice her blinking "okay" to Simon's comments, which was basically a big "F&%* you" to his critique? She's also believing that she's in the finals before she's gotten there. As my friend Chuckles says when he watches Love Story, "Die, bitch, DIE!"

Taylor - In the Ghetto - I agree with Motola that he needs not to dance, though I love his dancing. This is not a song many people can carry off, though. And I must say Taylor did. Excellent vocal. And he figured out not to smile with a serious lyric, which is something many Idol contestants don't know. Think this was one of the best of the night.

Chris - A Little Less Conversation - This song is great, but it's one that is tricky since it was used in a dance mix recently and was present in Ocean's Eleven. Personally, I would have chosen Burning Love or Stuck on You or Now or Never...that would have been a power ballad for him that would have let him show a range with his rocker style supplementing the song. He's singing quietly AGAIN. And he's mumbling because he can't get the words out fast enough. It's like he's just here to log the performance because he has to. Chris should be hollering in his screaming rocker voice, not whispering with virtually no tone. Okay. Now he's singing loud and getting into it. Why save it for the last 15 seconds? Elvis wouldn't have (even though Chris thinks he would). Chris asked to go home, frankly. He didn't try. And the judges know it...all they can say is how they've always loved him, not anything particular about these songs.

Sidebar - why does Paula have a necklace on AND a string around her neck? It looks like she's got a cowboy hat hanging on her back.

Elliott - Trouble - BLOODY HELL. He ROCKED. I think Simon got to him with the lyric comments last week. Elliott is singing songs that tell you to keep him here...first he begs to see his dream come true and now he's telling you he's got grit and the stuff to compete. He's absolutely adorable, he can sing like no one I've heard in years. He NAILED this song.

Katherine - Can't Help Falling in Love - excellent song, too bad she sang it. Motola said pay attention to the lyric. Which means don't Mariah the thing to death, idiot. She has a good voice, and if she'd sung this song with subtlety and restraint it could have been fabulous. Not everything slow is a power ballad. And what is she wearing? Why is her belly showing in a suit? I guess cleavage and skin can carry you if talent can't.

I would rather have seen Katherine go...unlike Tom, I have not taken a pledge to be nicer to her, and I won't because she's cloying and obnoxious. But Chris did not deserve to stay based upon his performance tonight. I think someone is going to offer him a record deal regardless, and this may have taken him down a peg so he'll be less egotistical and appreciate success when it comes again. He was on the track to end up with a failed marriage in favour of bimbos on the road...I like his wife and now I think he'll realise this fame thing is not a guarantee so it's best to keep a real life to support you.