Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Kelly Clarkson is singing on the results show tomorrow

I miss Melinder

I'm glad to hear Kelly Clarkson will be back for the results show tomorrow. I get the impression she made herself a bit of a persona non grata by acting like an ungrateful little tramp for a few years. Maybe she's come to her senses and realized she'd be NOTHING without these people.

I still like her----but I wouldn't be doing my duty if I neglected to inform her of the error of her ways. That's what Punchmen are born to do.

So tonight's performances: gotta say, not bad, really. There are more than few good people this year. With that, a few thoughts:

-- That Gokey kid is pretty good. I hope he doesn't learn to dance; we need more JPL moments.

-- Sarver is still eligible to be my resident galoot. Until I have proof of any possible Mormonness in him, I'll remain a fan.

-- Kris Allen is kinda cute too. God, I must be in a good mood tonight. Somebody help me.

-- Oh, here we go: Jorge Nunez really bugs me. He's got the Molly Shannon crazy eyes, and I don't buy that accent for a second. He's been pouring it on more and more after what Simon said a few weeks ago. Jorge looks like a sort of lech. When he looks straight on into the camera, I feel unsettled.

-- Megan Cork-Me is one of Simon's pretty blond flash in the pans. (Anyone remember Carmen Rasmussen, the Mormon from Season Two that Simon saved with the wildcard vote even though she had less talent than Tom Arnold's retarded third cousin?) I don't know yet if Megan is a Mormon, but if she is, good for her for getting a divorce. But Jesus kids, let's stop using our children as a way to get sympathy votes. It's cheap, and so is Megan.

-- Adam Lambert: I want to sit him down and give him a crew cut. I hate that hairstyle he wears. No, I don't hate it, I abhor it. I want it dead. Liked his performance OK but I'm a bit puzzled why all four judges were lined up to blow him. I've felt that way about a few of our performers over the years, most notably Melinder Doolittle, and even then ALL the judges weren't ready to lick her privates til she glimmered and shimmered. Only Paula was.

-- Matt Giraud: I thought he was great. Who cares if he followed the bad hair guy?

-- The Blind Guy: I'm kinda over him.



Dale said...

I think that Danny Gokey's wife ain't dead, she's hiding - that was screechy and awful, I don't care what anyone says.

Someone tell me why they give them 'old fashioned' songs to choose from or songs they know shouldn't be sung? I thought the Rockin Robin song was stupid but at least she made it lively.

Glad to hear Anoop finally get the praise he deserved. And Adam Lambert, come on, it really was incredibly screechy and awful too!

BeckEye said...

Kelly Clarkson, an ungrateful little tramp?? You whore. I think we've had this conversation before. I disagree with you that she would be NOTHING without them. I believe she had a record deal at one point before the show that may have fallen who knows, she might have found her way to fame. With a voice like that, it wouldn't be too out of the realm of possibility.

And I don't think it makes someone ungrateful to not want to be known as "the American Idol" forever. I don't remember her ever speaking negatively about the experience.

michaelg said...

The blind guy did the coreography! Awkward, but impressive.

Danny Gokey must be euthanized for dancing like that. Ish.

Coaster Punchman said...

Becks, Kelly Clarkson accepted 2 (two!) Grammys and what, just FORGOT to thank the people at A.I.? Methinks not. She was just being pissy because all of a sudden she felt she wasn't getting to keep enough of the goods. Are the Idols taken advantage of by Clive and his toadies? Of course they are! But look, would YOU trade places with any of them? I would! My job is pretty f-ing boring and I barely make any money. KC makes a sh*tload more than either of us PLUS she has a career she loves.

There are hundreds, no, THOUSANDS of great singers out there who NEVER get the chance that she did. She should be thanking AI and her lucky stars every time she walks out onstage or cashes a check.

(But in spite of my calling her an ungrateful tramp I still love her! Love the new song!)

lulu said...

I hate Matt. I hated his scarf and hat last week so much that I would have voted him off on that basis alone.

BeckEye said...

Okay, well her first album was called "Thankful," and everyone knows who/what that was in reference to.

People forget to thank their husbands and wives when they win awards, so it's not necessarily a snub. Just forgetfulness in all the excitement. Did she thank Clive Davis? I would find it hard to believe that she didn't. If she thanked him, then I don't think she really needed to thank the show itself or the judges. Maybe if she had won the Grammys for her first album.

I don't know. I just don't think that she should have to thank AI every time she opens her mouth. They've probably made more money off of her than she's made off of them.

Oh, and I wouldn't necessarily want to switch places with any of the Idols, but I would switch places with Michael Johns's wife. But you know this.

Coaster Punchman said...

Ok Beckeye, so you don't want to be an A.I. or a performer, understandable. So let me rephrase the question: If some powerful person (let's say some huge publishing house?) gave you a job that you loved, was fun and exciting, and paid you a buttload of money, would you thank your lucky stars for them every day even if they were making a lot more money than you were?

Coaster Punchman said...

Oh, and Mindy and I had an interesting conversation about that boyish girl who played Brandon Teena (her name has temporarily escaped me) and when she accepted her Oscar for the role, she didn't say one word to honor the life of the person she portrayed (unlike Sean Penn, who was very respectful of Harvey Milk.) Ask her to elaborate on that for you.

BeckEye said...

That was Hilary Swank. She's not awesome, so I'm not defending her. :)