Anddddddddd we're off........
I for one can't wait for this season to start. There is nothing on the telly anyway.
AND, the search for talent starts right here in Philadelphia tonight. Yeehaww!
Let the games begin...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Saturday, December 08, 2007
The Next American Idol Single
I'm psyched for American Idol to start and if they run the songwriting contest again, I believe I have a winner for the winner. Picture a teary-eyed/sweaty youth singing this baby:
My future was uncertain,
Too many things in my way
I didn’t dare to dream for fear
Of scaring my dreams away
But now the light shines down on me
And I can find the way to go
Love has made me see
That I can have forever today
[Chorus]
Forever today
We’ll chase our dreams together
Our fears no longer matter
Nothing stands in our way
Forever today
Every sunset, every dawn
And the moments in between
Stretch out before my eyes
Better than any dream
Take my hand and walk with me
See all the beauty on the way
Of dreams come true
Forever today
[Chorus x2] and fade out
By the way, if anyone wants to write the music, I'd appreciate it. Make sure it's sweeping, grand, full of strings and chimes and that it has lots of room for glory notes.
My future was uncertain,
Too many things in my way
I didn’t dare to dream for fear
Of scaring my dreams away
But now the light shines down on me
And I can find the way to go
Love has made me see
That I can have forever today
[Chorus]
Forever today
We’ll chase our dreams together
Our fears no longer matter
Nothing stands in our way
Forever today
Every sunset, every dawn
And the moments in between
Stretch out before my eyes
Better than any dream
Take my hand and walk with me
See all the beauty on the way
Of dreams come true
Forever today
[Chorus x2] and fade out
By the way, if anyone wants to write the music, I'd appreciate it. Make sure it's sweeping, grand, full of strings and chimes and that it has lots of room for glory notes.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Boxing
This is great. Jordin is blowing it out of her box and Blake is beating his.
Now THIS is television.
Now THIS is television.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Favourite Moments
What a long, boring finale for American Idol.
My favourite parts were tuning in to Larry King to hear him croak on a little about Rosie and Elizabeth's clawing match on The View and seeing all those little African kids sing. Who knew there were enough Jolie Pitt kids to form a choir already?
It was also fun watching Bette Midler lose the will to actually entertain.
Zzzzzz.
My favourite parts were tuning in to Larry King to hear him croak on a little about Rosie and Elizabeth's clawing match on The View and seeing all those little African kids sing. Who knew there were enough Jolie Pitt kids to form a choir already?
It was also fun watching Bette Midler lose the will to actually entertain.
Zzzzzz.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
I missed it...
Please tell me Jordin did a better job than Blake. Please tell me Jordin will win the competition.
Will she or won't she
I don't even know if I'll watch the show tonight. I have dinner plans with a friend, and to be honest, I'd rather spend time with her than watching Blake or Jordin sing.
If I make it home in time I'll tune in for it. If not... oh, well.
If I make it home in time I'll tune in for it. If not... oh, well.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
WE BE F**KED!
I think that says it all.
I've done my tour in Hell. That's all for me, I'm outta here!!
I will keep reading the blog though as I find it witty. So watch your frickin' mouths. :):):)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Thanks kids, it's been real
I love this girl. Neck or no neck. The only saving grace to saying "goodbye" to Melinda is that I don't have to rush home to watch the rest of this drivel. Because that's exactly what it will be, this choice between the prom queen and the Tourette's boy. Drivel.
The only worse voting error I've seen in recent American history would have to be all of our recent presidential elections.
I could go on and on about how disgusted I am that the most talented singer ever to grace the American Idol stage was voted off tonight; but that would take too long. Poor George summed it all up quite nicely with the following words:
"America couldn't care less about talent. They just want young cunt slits."
Bravo, Poor George. Bravo.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Two and a Half Men
Put these three contestants together and that's about what you've got.
If you're going to try and take me to the Nutbush City Limits Melinda, you really need someone to slap you around a little backstage first to sell it. Congrats on almost convincing America you're a W-O-M-A-N too. Those hair extensions pretty much covered up your Adam's Apple. The best part of the night was nobody mentioning she flubbed the entire second line to that song.
Blake should move back to Avenue Q where he belongs although I have to admit, he almost blew This Love right outta Jordin's box. She worked about as hard for the money as Paula did on that lame ass joke. I Who Have Nothing was excellent again though.
True facts as discovered on The Tonight Show last night:
Blake is from the Seattle area but has never had a cup of coffee.
Melinda was a costumed mascot in high school and college.
Jordin is 17.
Did anyone see Molly Shannon on SNL last week? She opened the show as Mary Catherine Gallagher on American Idol.
If you're going to try and take me to the Nutbush City Limits Melinda, you really need someone to slap you around a little backstage first to sell it. Congrats on almost convincing America you're a W-O-M-A-N too. Those hair extensions pretty much covered up your Adam's Apple. The best part of the night was nobody mentioning she flubbed the entire second line to that song.
Blake should move back to Avenue Q where he belongs although I have to admit, he almost blew This Love right outta Jordin's box. She worked about as hard for the money as Paula did on that lame ass joke. I Who Have Nothing was excellent again though.
True facts as discovered on The Tonight Show last night:
Blake is from the Seattle area but has never had a cup of coffee.
Melinda was a costumed mascot in high school and college.
Jordin is 17.
Did anyone see Molly Shannon on SNL last week? She opened the show as Mary Catherine Gallagher on American Idol.
Three each
Jees-oh-pete... we have to listen to three different songs tonight. I pray to all that is holy Blake doesn't beat box through each one of his.
First, the judges pick their songs... then the producers (HUH?!) pick one... then they pick their own. Hmmm... this should be interesting.
Judges Choice
Jordin: Simon's pick? Wishing on a Star - does she even know that song? It is SOOO old! Yawn. The end was OK and her voice was great, but I was bored. I didn't see any personality. What do the judges think? How can Randy say she brought the heat? It. was. dull!!!!!!!!!! Ah-hah! She had NEVER heard the song before! I knew it!
Blake: Paula's pick? Roxanne - I can't stand the Police so I'm already not going to like this... At least he didn't beat box. THANK GOD! He needs to shut his mouth after he finishes a note. He looks like a fish out of water. I have to admit it was a decent performance... better than Jordin's! (Did I really just type that shit?) I agree with Simon that he was trying to imitate Sting - and he failed.
Melinda: Randy's pick? I Believe in You and Me - why did he pick Whitney? She is SOOO overdone... and did I just hear her say "Thank you, Randy Johnson?" instead of Jackson? Or was the mayor's name Johnson? I was too busy trying to figure out why she's singing Whitney. I don't like ballads - or Whitney for that matter - but Melinda did a great job. Her voice cracked a little bit, and she was pitchy in some spots, but over all she sounded great. She's a pro.
Winner of round one? Melinda (HA! The judges - or at least Simon - agreed!)
Producer Choice
Jordin: She Works Hard for the Money - why do they keep giving her the songs that are older than she is?! This is such a freakin' cheesy song... how can she make it sound fresh and new? SHE CAN'T!!!!!! (Once again -- this is a song on my Richard Simmon's tapes) Sounded like a cruise ship performance. I liked it, but it wasn't my favorite. I want to hear something more her age.
Blake: This Love -- Maroon 5 is good choice for him. Glub, glub, glub... fish boy. I am over the beat boxing... over. it. You could tell he was in his element, but I thought it was boring. Glub.
Melinda: Nutbush City Limits - LOVE Tina Turner! Let's see how she does with a rockin' song... she had me at the first note. Great choice for her! I love when she does the "growl" in her voice.
Round two: Melinda
Their Choice
Jordin: I Who Have Nothing - That was her moment. Brilliant performance. She proved she has the power to win this competition. That girl will. be. a. star.
Blake: When I Get You Alone - OMG -- I can't stand Robin Thicke either. This may be painful. I want him to quit dancing. You know what? I want him to quit dancing, beat boxing, singing, performing, and showing up for these performances. I want him to go home. He is no match for Jordin or Melinda... not even in the same league.
Melinda: I'm a Woman - I liked it. That is her kind of song. She can really put on a performance with that kind of song. That was fun! She just plain ol' rocks.
I'm afraid the young vote will go to Blake and Jordin; that will put Melinda out. I hope it doesn't happen. The final two should be Melinda and Jordin -- with Melinda taking it all.
Realistically though? It will more than likely be Jordin. And that sucks.
First, the judges pick their songs... then the producers (HUH?!) pick one... then they pick their own. Hmmm... this should be interesting.
Judges Choice
Jordin: Simon's pick? Wishing on a Star - does she even know that song? It is SOOO old! Yawn. The end was OK and her voice was great, but I was bored. I didn't see any personality. What do the judges think? How can Randy say she brought the heat? It. was. dull!!!!!!!!!! Ah-hah! She had NEVER heard the song before! I knew it!
Blake: Paula's pick? Roxanne - I can't stand the Police so I'm already not going to like this... At least he didn't beat box. THANK GOD! He needs to shut his mouth after he finishes a note. He looks like a fish out of water. I have to admit it was a decent performance... better than Jordin's! (Did I really just type that shit?) I agree with Simon that he was trying to imitate Sting - and he failed.
Melinda: Randy's pick? I Believe in You and Me - why did he pick Whitney? She is SOOO overdone... and did I just hear her say "Thank you, Randy Johnson?" instead of Jackson? Or was the mayor's name Johnson? I was too busy trying to figure out why she's singing Whitney. I don't like ballads - or Whitney for that matter - but Melinda did a great job. Her voice cracked a little bit, and she was pitchy in some spots, but over all she sounded great. She's a pro.
Winner of round one? Melinda (HA! The judges - or at least Simon - agreed!)
Producer Choice
Jordin: She Works Hard for the Money - why do they keep giving her the songs that are older than she is?! This is such a freakin' cheesy song... how can she make it sound fresh and new? SHE CAN'T!!!!!! (Once again -- this is a song on my Richard Simmon's tapes) Sounded like a cruise ship performance. I liked it, but it wasn't my favorite. I want to hear something more her age.
Blake: This Love -- Maroon 5 is good choice for him. Glub, glub, glub... fish boy. I am over the beat boxing... over. it. You could tell he was in his element, but I thought it was boring. Glub.
Melinda: Nutbush City Limits - LOVE Tina Turner! Let's see how she does with a rockin' song... she had me at the first note. Great choice for her! I love when she does the "growl" in her voice.
Round two: Melinda
Their Choice
Jordin: I Who Have Nothing - That was her moment. Brilliant performance. She proved she has the power to win this competition. That girl will. be. a. star.
Blake: When I Get You Alone - OMG -- I can't stand Robin Thicke either. This may be painful. I want him to quit dancing. You know what? I want him to quit dancing, beat boxing, singing, performing, and showing up for these performances. I want him to go home. He is no match for Jordin or Melinda... not even in the same league.
Melinda: I'm a Woman - I liked it. That is her kind of song. She can really put on a performance with that kind of song. That was fun! She just plain ol' rocks.
I'm afraid the young vote will go to Blake and Jordin; that will put Melinda out. I hope it doesn't happen. The final two should be Melinda and Jordin -- with Melinda taking it all.
Realistically though? It will more than likely be Jordin. And that sucks.
We're The Kids In America
Last night the kids were on Leno, a show I generally ignore except for the last few minutes I tape for the musical guest before Conan shows up to save the day.
I happened to watch last night as I'd read the kids were going to be on.
Blake said he's never had a cup of coffee even though he's from Seattle, Jordin and Melinda said they both voted for Sanjaya while Blake chose not to answer the question and it was all just scintillating nose scrunching goodness.
They had poor Taylor Hicks out in the parking lot giving a 'concert'. Do I Make You Proud indeed.
Jordin & Melinda - Who's gonna be the first ho down?
I happened to watch last night as I'd read the kids were going to be on.
Blake said he's never had a cup of coffee even though he's from Seattle, Jordin and Melinda said they both voted for Sanjaya while Blake chose not to answer the question and it was all just scintillating nose scrunching goodness.
They had poor Taylor Hicks out in the parking lot giving a 'concert'. Do I Make You Proud indeed.
Jordin & Melinda - Who's gonna be the first ho down?
Monday, May 14, 2007
Oh, the SUSPENSE!
Who will win???? After enduring week after week of this, it's finally almost over. HOORAY!
I have decided to throw down for Jordin.
She's an Amazon, and I prefer giants to midgets. She has a neck. I prefer her teenage chirpy perkiness to the aw-shucks-they-like-me perkiness of Melinda. She has huge hair. Her voice is not as good as Melinda's, but she's still good. She's young and impressionable and has potential for a seriously messed up fast-lane lifestyle that, after years of diet pills and booze and heroin (and then recovery,) will make for a great made-for-TV-movie. If you put all past American Idols in a wrestling match to see who reigns supreme, she'd win hands down. She'd be a great spokesperson for tampons, giving her a second income stream. If she were on Leno or Letterman, she wouldn't sit there in wide-eyed wonder at everything, but would likely talk on and on about herself. And she's shiny.
Melinda is very talented, and if this were a talent competition she should win. It's not. It's American Idol. They're looking for a marketing juggernaut. And Melinda is very, very dull. Unless she comes out during the final and dedicates a lovesong to her female lover, in which case America's love affair with personable lesbians will create a complete circus and give us something interesting to watch for sordid details. Otherwise she should be relegated to guest appearances on celebrity Christmas Specials. She'd be great singing Sleighride in a "snowball fight" with the kiddies on a Very Osmond Christmas.
Blake, well, Blake is a cartoon character. He has potential for a hit or two, but no long-term appeal. Who would want to see him on Extra or ET? No one. That's who. He would not be a compelling Gap model. His beat boxing sounds like stuttering. I hate stststuttering. Go away, Blake.
I have decided to throw down for Jordin.
She's an Amazon, and I prefer giants to midgets. She has a neck. I prefer her teenage chirpy perkiness to the aw-shucks-they-like-me perkiness of Melinda. She has huge hair. Her voice is not as good as Melinda's, but she's still good. She's young and impressionable and has potential for a seriously messed up fast-lane lifestyle that, after years of diet pills and booze and heroin (and then recovery,) will make for a great made-for-TV-movie. If you put all past American Idols in a wrestling match to see who reigns supreme, she'd win hands down. She'd be a great spokesperson for tampons, giving her a second income stream. If she were on Leno or Letterman, she wouldn't sit there in wide-eyed wonder at everything, but would likely talk on and on about herself. And she's shiny.
Melinda is very talented, and if this were a talent competition she should win. It's not. It's American Idol. They're looking for a marketing juggernaut. And Melinda is very, very dull. Unless she comes out during the final and dedicates a lovesong to her female lover, in which case America's love affair with personable lesbians will create a complete circus and give us something interesting to watch for sordid details. Otherwise she should be relegated to guest appearances on celebrity Christmas Specials. She'd be great singing Sleighride in a "snowball fight" with the kiddies on a Very Osmond Christmas.
Blake, well, Blake is a cartoon character. He has potential for a hit or two, but no long-term appeal. Who would want to see him on Extra or ET? No one. That's who. He would not be a compelling Gap model. His beat boxing sounds like stuttering. I hate stststuttering. Go away, Blake.
Friday, May 11, 2007
You've got to be kidding me
What the hell is Bill Maher doing in the American Idol audience? I mean seriously. What the Hell?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Die or Bust
Blake Lewis is noisier than a badly made Ukranian vibrator. I want him dead. Will the gods, or just one God (preferably the white one) please rain a hail of death upon this lipless fag's head?
LaKisha leaving last night was a low point for me. I love fat, black singers. I still can't listen to Luther Vandross without crying into my pudding. But if anyone deserved the dubious award of IDOL, it was this single mother. She's so low-rent, you just know she's going back to Michigan to polish some flint.
Melinda is a flat-nosed cabaret act and Jordin Sparks is still a nose-scrunching cunt. The fact that she's from a normal family makes me hate her more than I hate Blake and his stuttering songs. He slaughtered "You Should Be Dancing." Barry Gibb should be ashamed of himself for condoning such bargain basement artistry.
I had half the episode on mute. Me love the Bee Gees, especially the dead alcoholic one.
LaKisha leaving last night was a low point for me. I love fat, black singers. I still can't listen to Luther Vandross without crying into my pudding. But if anyone deserved the dubious award of IDOL, it was this single mother. She's so low-rent, you just know she's going back to Michigan to polish some flint.
Melinda is a flat-nosed cabaret act and Jordin Sparks is still a nose-scrunching cunt. The fact that she's from a normal family makes me hate her more than I hate Blake and his stuttering songs. He slaughtered "You Should Be Dancing." Barry Gibb should be ashamed of himself for condoning such bargain basement artistry.
I had half the episode on mute. Me love the Bee Gees, especially the dead alcoholic one.
Tears have been shed now
I am so glad Melinda is still in the game.
Call me retarded, but I started tearing up when Lakisha got the boot. Although I don't even like her singing all that much, she still deserves to be up there. I felt really bad for her, and hope she has a great career ahead of her.
Blake really deserved to leave last night. And Jordin wasn't far behind.
Go Melinda!!!!!
Call me retarded, but I started tearing up when Lakisha got the boot. Although I don't even like her singing all that much, she still deserves to be up there. I felt really bad for her, and hope she has a great career ahead of her.
Blake really deserved to leave last night. And Jordin wasn't far behind.
Go Melinda!!!!!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
He was hung like one, but I couldn't get past the teeth
Oh my GOD!!! I just watched, in horror, as Barry Gibb attempted to recapture his youth by trying ( in vain) to recreate the infamous Bee Gee falsetto voice. What is up with those horrid false teeth??? This is the same man who used to make me positively swoon? Painful, pathetic and sad are just a few adjectives that come to mind. As Simon is wont to say, "It was positively dreadful, like a really bad karaoke singer." Barry, wake up and smell the Efferdent. Sometimes, ya just CAN'T go home again.
Nurse Ratchet
Nurse Ratchet
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Glib About Gibb
One of the Gibb brothers (I think it was the dead one) gave the kids some advice tonight with his Sean Connery/Liza Minnelli bridge work and wow did things sizzle, as long as you happened to be 80 or in the audience.
I'm not sure why they dissed Lakisha so for Stayin' Alive, I thought it was the best thing going on an incredibly boring show.
Outside of the original version, I love N Trance's take on it. Get raw with the fever on the dance floor: Stayin Alive.mp3
I'm not sure why they dissed Lakisha so for Stayin' Alive, I thought it was the best thing going on an incredibly boring show.
Outside of the original version, I love N Trance's take on it. Get raw with the fever on the dance floor: Stayin Alive.mp3
Please...
can someone slather Barry Gibb's lips with chapstick/blistix/carmex/vaseline/olive oil, anything!
those thin gray lips grossed me out!
those thin gray lips grossed me out!
How deep is your love?
And then there were four... three ladies and a guy.
Tonight being coached by Barry Gibb... call me a nerd, but I love him. I love the Bee Gees! I have their greatest hits in my car. I listen to it A Lot. Yep. A nerd.
He talks like the Geico caveman though.
I'm looking forward to tonight - even though they are singing two songs a piece...
Melinda: Love You Inside and Out - Different vocal range for her... I like it! She is so awesome. I'm not sure it was her best, but she still did a great job.
Blake: You Should Be Dancing - I hear this song and envision John Travolta doing his pelvis thrusts on a pulsating dance floor... I hope I don't see that with Blake. Now he has white streaks in his hair... jeeeeesus.... He sounds like his balls are in a vice. And yes... he does look like Robin Williams. NOOOOOOOOOO! More beat boxing. I'm tired. of. it. That sucked. Just not for me. Once again -- I'm a purist. I'm SO glad Randy said the beatbox didn't work! YAY! Finally! I don't think he's going home though. Chris' votes are going to go to him... it's the whole "cute young guy" thing.
LaKisha: Stayin' Alive - My least favorite BeeGee song... so cliche for them. I was hoping that it would be avoided all together, but... oh well. She didn't hit the high notes like Barry recommended... why? Did she not like the professional's opinion? Is she too good for that? I didn't like it... I was bored. Maybe it's the song. But I don't think so. I think she may be the next to go.
Jordin: To Love Somebody - Does she even know who Barry Gibb is? Has she ever even heard of the BeeGees? Last week she told Jon Bon Jovi that he was her MOM'S favorite and that was how she had heard of him! I wonder what she would say to Barry! She will definitely be in the final two. I could listen to that version of the song over and over again. I haven't gotten a lot of chills this season, but that gave them to me. That was AMAZING.
Second songs
Melinda: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - I was bored with this one... UNTIL the end. I didn't like the beginning, but the end was star quality. I love her. Period.
Blake: This is Where I Came In - Yuck. Go Away. Please. At least STOP with the beat boxing and freakin' SING!
LaKisha: Run To Me - zzzzzzzz.... oh! (wiping drool from my bottom lip) I'm supposed to be watching LaKisha sing on American Id..zzzzzzz....
Jordin: Woman In Love - Started off a little rocky. Babs is hard to duplicate - and I don't think it has been done before on AI. Has it? She sounded good once she got started, but there were some pitchy spots. It is a perfect song for her range, but she didn't really pull it off. No chills.
After tonight I still think the final two will be Melinda and Jordin. Blake is going to get Chris', and possibly Phil's, votes. Jordin and Melinda have loyal fans (like me) that will vote their hearts out. I think LaKisha has slipped the past few weeks and really can't hold a candle to the other three.
I know... I know... that means I'm saying Blake is better. Don't get me wrong. I can't STAND the guy. I think he is only in it now because of his looks and his so-called originality. It may take him to the top three but he won't win it.
The next to go home? Should be Blake, but buh-bye, LaKisha.
Tonight being coached by Barry Gibb... call me a nerd, but I love him. I love the Bee Gees! I have their greatest hits in my car. I listen to it A Lot. Yep. A nerd.
He talks like the Geico caveman though.
I'm looking forward to tonight - even though they are singing two songs a piece...
Melinda: Love You Inside and Out - Different vocal range for her... I like it! She is so awesome. I'm not sure it was her best, but she still did a great job.
Blake: You Should Be Dancing - I hear this song and envision John Travolta doing his pelvis thrusts on a pulsating dance floor... I hope I don't see that with Blake. Now he has white streaks in his hair... jeeeeesus.... He sounds like his balls are in a vice. And yes... he does look like Robin Williams. NOOOOOOOOOO! More beat boxing. I'm tired. of. it. That sucked. Just not for me. Once again -- I'm a purist. I'm SO glad Randy said the beatbox didn't work! YAY! Finally! I don't think he's going home though. Chris' votes are going to go to him... it's the whole "cute young guy" thing.
LaKisha: Stayin' Alive - My least favorite BeeGee song... so cliche for them. I was hoping that it would be avoided all together, but... oh well. She didn't hit the high notes like Barry recommended... why? Did she not like the professional's opinion? Is she too good for that? I didn't like it... I was bored. Maybe it's the song. But I don't think so. I think she may be the next to go.
Jordin: To Love Somebody - Does she even know who Barry Gibb is? Has she ever even heard of the BeeGees? Last week she told Jon Bon Jovi that he was her MOM'S favorite and that was how she had heard of him! I wonder what she would say to Barry! She will definitely be in the final two. I could listen to that version of the song over and over again. I haven't gotten a lot of chills this season, but that gave them to me. That was AMAZING.
Second songs
Melinda: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - I was bored with this one... UNTIL the end. I didn't like the beginning, but the end was star quality. I love her. Period.
Blake: This is Where I Came In - Yuck. Go Away. Please. At least STOP with the beat boxing and freakin' SING!
LaKisha: Run To Me - zzzzzzzz.... oh! (wiping drool from my bottom lip) I'm supposed to be watching LaKisha sing on American Id..zzzzzzz....
Jordin: Woman In Love - Started off a little rocky. Babs is hard to duplicate - and I don't think it has been done before on AI. Has it? She sounded good once she got started, but there were some pitchy spots. It is a perfect song for her range, but she didn't really pull it off. No chills.
After tonight I still think the final two will be Melinda and Jordin. Blake is going to get Chris', and possibly Phil's, votes. Jordin and Melinda have loyal fans (like me) that will vote their hearts out. I think LaKisha has slipped the past few weeks and really can't hold a candle to the other three.
I know... I know... that means I'm saying Blake is better. Don't get me wrong. I can't STAND the guy. I think he is only in it now because of his looks and his so-called originality. It may take him to the top three but he won't win it.
The next to go home? Should be Blake, but buh-bye, LaKisha.
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