Miami...

Ok, so I'm finally catching up again with A.I. after those first two episodes. And I chose tonight to catch up. I saw just a little bit of last night's show, enough to agree with Dale's observation that Ms. Abdul appears to be in her cups, or at least well into her prescription bottle. And I agree with Mr. Punchman's assessment of the general state of A.I. auditions, as well.

But, tonight.

Only a few contestants really made any impression. There was that white guy in the stocking cap; Mizbubs told me he was good (I missed his audition, but saw him later) but really, what the f*ck is up with the stocking cap? In Florida? Why not a flannel shirt too?

Now, Syesha Mercado, on the other hand... She was hawt. Gorgeous, and some great pipes too. I liked her. Hope she does well.

Brandon Blank was like, the most entertaining dork at the rent party. He was a fun way to close the episode.

My favorite was Julie Debela, the former Junior Idol contestant. Whereas Alexis Cohen was "going for actressing", Ms. Debela announced, in no uncertain terms, "I'm sorry, but I'm not acting." Why not, Ms Debela?

I think that Julie Debela will be far more entertaining in a few years as a drunk, 23 year old actress/escort in L.A. MizBubs seconded this notion, adding that she "sees her as a Little Bo Peep." Whew. Our youngest said she gave the impression of hearing applause in her head 24/7. I thought the little head nod/toss at the end was a nice touch.

Well, that's it. Time to go watch some splatter movies.

Oh for crying out loud

The reason I don't like to get posting right away on these first audition shows is that I can hardly stand it. How do you spell T-R-I-T-E again?

I mean, every show is exactly the same, with a pathetically interchangeable cast of characters. As always, there is the mandatory gang of idiots who want nothing more than a William Hung moment of fame; at least one black-hair Susie with lots of eye makeup and no discernible talent; a Britney wannabe whose only apparent interest is to grunt & shimmy her way to God knows what; assorted retards and other talentless sorts who have no idea they lack the most basic skills of human interaction; smatterings of kids who know very well what AI is all about yet who come in with some stupid gimmick, as if singing a duet with blue horns on your head might somehow compensate for your otherwise total lack of worth; and on and on.

I swear, half of these people must be the same morons who visit New York and stand outside the windows of The Today Show in hopes of getting their overfed faces on TV. And for what purpose, exactly? It all makes me sick. Tonight's program was hideous to a degree where I can safely say I'd kill myself if I were forced to watch this more than once a week.

Paula, Randy, Ryan, Simon, listen up please: let's cut the crap and get to the part that's supposed to be a real competition before my need to hurt somebody grows too much stronger.

Oh, and I really could have done without the tearful father-daughter reunion. That was particularly offensive.

I think I need a drink.