Two and a Half Men

Put these three contestants together and that's about what you've got.

If you're going to try and take me to the Nutbush City Limits Melinda, you really need someone to slap you around a little backstage first to sell it. Congrats on almost convincing America you're a W-O-M-A-N too. Those hair extensions pretty much covered up your Adam's Apple. The best part of the night was nobody mentioning she flubbed the entire second line to that song.

Blake should move back to Avenue Q where he belongs although I have to admit, he almost blew This Love right outta Jordin's box. She worked about as hard for the money as Paula did on that lame ass joke. I Who Have Nothing was excellent again though.

True facts as discovered on The Tonight Show last night:

Blake is from the Seattle area but has never had a cup of coffee.
Melinda was a costumed mascot in high school and college.
Jordin is 17.

Did anyone see Molly Shannon on SNL last week? She opened the show as Mary Catherine Gallagher on American Idol.

Countdown

Phil Stacey was good. Someone must have told him black is slimming. Sanjaya sucked especially hard tonight. I guess the gag reflex is finally letting up.

Jordin didn't suck, though I was doing dishes during her song and was distracted by remnants of our bean & ham soup. (Delicious!)

Lakisha had some funky ass boots and tried to scream that Jesus song. Slipping.

Chris sounded like an amateur. Getting a bit late for that in this contest. It sounded like dueling banjos between him & that violin. Simon is going to rip him a new ass. Overall, Chris is utterly forgettable. I even forgot his name before writing this paragraph.

I'm beginning to see what y'all mean about Melinda not having a neck. It's like her head is planted directly onto her shoulders. But no matter. Melinda will be the first neckless American Idol. Love my baby.

Blake: sucked ass tonight. I cannot believe not one judge mentioned that he was NOWHERE near the pitch during the high singer part. Horrible.

Done.