What the hell was that?!?

I'm sorry, but this is the semi-finals, right? Aren't these people supposed to be kicking ass at this point? Instead, Adam phoned it in, Gokey over shot the mark, as per usual and not in a good way, and what the hell is Kris still doing there? Man.

And you know I have mad love for Adam, right. Well, check it out dawg: Why Aerosmith? Why would you pick "Cryin'" Were you high?!? God! Was he trying to one-up Gokey's Dream On Aerosmith Rock 'N Roller Coaster? Where was all the twinkly space dust that usually swirls around your head? Did you just decide you didn't want to win it? LAME. At the rate we're going, Danny Deadwife is going to win it all...which...hey, maybe he'll just disappear like Taylor Hicks. Hmm...as you were Adam Lambert.

So, next week is the foshizzle finale. The question of the hour is: Who will be singing "Imagine"? And what happened to the songwriting contest? My neighbor wrote the music for my single and now it's all dressed up and has no place to go. I guess the contest went the way of Idol Gives Back. Oh well, maybe if I get poor enough, Paula Abdul will come over and color with me, which would make everything all better.

Ways To Make Them Sing Better

Loser has to donate their liver or a kidney or an organ of Natalie Cole's choice on a very special edition of "Idol Gives Back". Natalie will then sing directly to them the 'together forever' bit from that song.

Exclaim!

Just when I thought nothing could top seeing Larry King in jeans, along comes American Idol's Inspiration Week!

My bottom 3:

David Cook - Finally! The pomposity catches up! (although I still think he's pretty great, that sucked ass.)

Brooke - That was possibly flatter than your hair.

Carly - Welcome back (to the lower echelon)! Do you always look so angry and intense because you told him not to get those face tattoos and he just went ahead and did it?

And the rest:

David Archuleta - I thought that was much less great than the judges did. I also prayed Ryan would say - how about that polygamy thing David?

Syesha - I don't even like her but want them to lay off! She was great last week and this week! Shut up! Other exclamations!

Jason Castro - that was pretty sweet and should rock the iTunes charts hard.

Kristy Lee - not a bad job but enough with the make up, we get it, you sparkle!

Michael Johns - I could have forgiven him if the neckerchief was a one week only aberration but last night as well? Oh my. I like him but I don't like note for note recreations. Dream on big guy. (Sorry for leaving him out originally Beckeye, I guess I was blinded by science.)

See you Thursday!

Favourite Moments

What a long, boring finale for American Idol.

My favourite parts were tuning in to Larry King to hear him croak on a little about Rosie and Elizabeth's clawing match on The View and seeing all those little African kids sing. Who knew there were enough Jolie Pitt kids to form a choir already?

It was also fun watching Bette Midler lose the will to actually entertain.

Zzzzzz.